RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN/AFTER UNIVERSITY/COLLEGE

RELATIONSHIPS

We do not advise young men and women to have relationships with the opposite sex which are not intended for marriage- as they’ll involve themselves with immoral vices such as fornication.

Relationships of opposite sex should be entered into solely for the purpose of marriage-That period for preparing for marriage should not be too long.

1 Corinthians 7:2- Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man has his own wife and let every woman have her own husband.

 

Test as to whether your Love is true

  1. The admire test
  • In true love you have more than a lovely feeling.
  • You have solid reasons for saying he/ she will be a good husband/wife.
  • Ask yourself, Do we have reasons why we love each other or we just have lovely feelings
  • Can I trust her/him to be sexually faithful?
  1. The habit test
  • Don’t marry a person if you cant enjoy his/her habits.
  • How does he/she behave under pressure?
  1. The Unselfish Test
  • Selfish marriage- everyone cares for themselves only.
  • Endless quarrels.
  • Unselfish Love-concerned for his/her needs.
  • Selfish Love- I need her to understand me/ my problem and care about me, she will make my life happy.
  1. The talk freely Test
  • Can we talk with each other freely on deep fears and our past life?
  • Verbal communication-word choice, tone of voice, silence treatment and written messages.

Non-verbal communication-

  • Body language; Facial expressions, movement of hands and body to convey messages
  • Dressing-Clothing communicates, it can show whether you’re confident, happy or not.
  • Grooming-Even the right clothes cannot make up for poor grooming.

               Levels of communication

  • Small talk-Greetings
  • Share facts- Describing how your day was.
  • Sharing emotions- voicing your feelings in a frank and open way
  • Peak communication- Relationships reach a high point of understanding, communication is honest and mutually fulfilling.

 

  1. The Knowing each other Test
  • Know each others past and present. Example, Its hard to tell you this but before I got saved I used to drink beer.
  • There is no worry if he/she discovers my past.
  • Spend time together and in a group then you’ll discover;
  • Does he often quarrel with other people.
  • Does he/she refuse to speak to people who hurt them.
  • What does he do when he is angry?
  • How does she behave when in a bad mood?
  • When he is in trouble, does he trust in God?
  • Does he drink and try to keep it a secret?
  1. The Love for Christ Test.
  • Are we helping each other to love Christ?
  • Do we both enjoy serving Christ together?\
  1. The Giving Test
  • True love gives.
  • Don’t marry a person who says I’m unhappy, I need you to make me happy.
  1. The forgive after quarrel test
  • In a good relationship both are willing to forgive and listen to the other’s ideas.
  • Say I’m sorry, I forgive you.
  1. The maturity Test
  • Maturity isn’t based on age but on actions.
  • It is the ability to control and find constructive outlets for strong emotions. Proverbs 29;11- A fool gives full vent to his anger but a wise man keeps himself under control.
  • Acceptance of opposing points of view.
  • The initiative to do difficult/ unpleasant tasks.
  • A willingness to act without expecting reward or acknowledgement.
  • The patience to delay personal satisfaction or pleasure.
  • Determination- Ability to hang in there when problems arises.

BOUNDARIES IN A RELATIONSHIP

  1. Avoid hugging, holding for too long and kissing.
  2. Don’t sit on his lap.
  3. Don’t stay indoors alone with your beloved for a long period.
  4. Don’t be alone in isolated places at odd hours.
  5. Don’t put your hands under the skirt.
  6. Don’t sleep on the same bed with your beloved.
  7. Don’t fondle the breasts and the private parts.
  8. Don’t undress in the presence of your beloved.
  9. Don’t have sex with your beloved.

 

GENERAL BOUNDARIES

  1. Keep a personal code of ethics- A clear set of rules or principles to guide your actions and decisions. E.g I believe all people are worthy of respect no matter what they look like or how they act.
    A code of ethics serves as an internal security force.
  2. Your attitude affecting the relationship.
    Attitude reveal your character toward other people, they reflect your values. Certain attitudes tend to be constructive forces while others destructive.

  3. People of integrity will not lie as an easy way out or to protect themselves- they keep their word.
  4. Respect
    This brings positive force on relationships.

Avoid stereotypical thinking and prejudices.

 

Some core Boundaries

  1. Don’t be a buffer/ emotional airbag
  2. Don’t share a partner with someone else.
  3. Don’t spend time waiting for them to show up after they have disappeared. -don’t put your life on hold for anyone.
  4. Don’t continue to engage in a relationship where there is no love, care, trust and respect.
  5. Avoid people who can’t make plans for the future.
  6. Avoid people who control relationships on their terms- It must be mutually fulfilling, balanced and healthy relationship.
  7. Don’t allow someone to use you for sex, devalue you sexually.
  8. Drop people who manage the bulk of the communication in the relationship by text, email or instant messages.
  9. Don’t allow to be filled with lies or getting the truth distorted.
  10. Don’t pursue someone who has directly or passively rejected you.
  11. Don’t play Florence Night gale- It’s not your job to fix/heal/help the walking wounded.
  12. Don’t date an unkind/cruel, lacking empathy, takes advantage or abuses you.
  13. Have non-negotiable boundaries.
    Don’t treat your partner like a child even though they behave like one.
    Don’t come up with your own reasons why you think they behave the way the did.

 

 

RED FLAG

A red flag is something which the other person does which flags a potential problem either then or further down the line.

It alerts you to a potential issue.

Why we justify red flags;
1. You have already slept with the person so you are already in the justifying zone.
2. We want a relationship more than we want the right person.
3. We are insecure.
4. We are blinded by lust and desire.
5. We have the I can change him syndrome.

Red flags

  1. Anger and aggression
  2. Emotionally available.
  3. Addicted to something
  4. The controller
  5. They play the victims.
  6. Not over the EX
  7. Childhood problems.

 

Temperaments

Temperament is the basic template in which you were created. You were created with certain tendencies, natural strengths and weaknesses.

Why should you know your temperament?

  1. It will show you what kind of a person you are naturally inclined to marry.
  2. It makes you aware of your natural strengths.
  3. It makes you aware of your natural weaknesses.
  4. Accept to flow with your marriage partner.
  5. Accept to flow with people you work with.

1.Saguines

  • They are loud, emotionally warm, friendly, happy out going, fun, loving, super extroverts.
    They are the life of the party.
  • They are talkative, story tellers, exaggerators, they get a lot of public attention.

Weaknesses

They lack discipline, prone to exaggeration, hot tempered, prone to unfaithfulness
Indiscipline with money.
Spiritually disorganized.
Losses commitment easily.

The Sanguine wife

  • Adorable and popular- Cheer leader in school.
    Very entertaining.
  • Good at networking.
  • She does not old grudges.
  • Quick to apologize.
  • Life of the party.

Weaknesses of a sanguine wife.

  • Too talkative- Can embarrass those around her.
  • Permissive- Many allow her children to misbehave.
  • Avoids confrontation.
  • Fussy- doesn’t like to work
  • Messy housekeeper

2. Choleric
Choleric men

  • Decisive and opinionated.
  • Wants to be in charge and in control.
  • Can plan worthwhile projects
  • Natural leaders
  • Very open and honest.
  • Great achievers and providers
  • Spiritually committed

 

 

Weaknesses

  • His emotional nature is the least part of his temperament.
  • Does not sympathize easily with others.
  • Embarrassed and disgusted by the fears of others
  • His most serious weakness is anger.
  • May cause pain to others and enjoy it.
  • Carry grudge for a long time.

 

 

Choleric wife

  • Makes things happen.
  • Very bossy
  • Courageous
  • Determined
  • Crusades for change.
  • Career women
  • Open and honest
  • Forceful woman

 

Weaknesses

  • Unpopular
  • Self-centered
  • Bossy
  • Not tender
  • Hot tempered
  • Not very popular.
  • Doesn’t take time for real conversations.

Melancholic

  • Analytical, self-sacrificing, gifted and perfectionist.
  • Does not push to meet people but lets people come to him
  • Dedicate to self-sacrificing
  • He is a listener.
  • Finds greatest meaning in life.
  • Lacks confidence
  • Subject to mood swings.

Weaknesses

  • He suffers from depression.
  • Lacks confidence
  • Subject to mood swings.
  • Can be very sensitive.
  • Needs a lot of love.
  • Very choosy

 

 

Phlegmatic

  • Easiest person to get along with.
  • Has a natural dry sense of humor.
  • Natural peace maker.
  • He will not volunteer for leadership.
  • Can be very stubborn.
  • Rarely exceeds the status quo
  • Can annoy an aggressive person.
  • Polite, diplomatic.
  • Will no confront.
  • Thoughtful
  • Dependable, faithful

 

We need to manage our temperaments through prayer, reading the word of God, read books for emotional intelligence.

Accept feedback.

Be filled with Holy Spirit.

 

FORNICATION (DAG HEWARD MILLS)

 

Sex before marriage (fornication) is the greatest factor that is currently affecting university/College Students and hindering them from going further in ministry both within and after campus. How can you stay pure? How can you overcome this addiction suppose you are already in it? What are the dangers of fornication?

 

15 Reasons Why You Should Not Commit Fornication

  1. FORNICATION

Obedience means more to God than any great sacrifice that you can make to Him. Some of you come to church, put your offering in the basket, pay your tithes, lift up your hands and worship His Majesty. You give sacrifices of praise to God. But God prefers your simple obedience to your many offerings and lifted hands. I once met a lady who told me that the commandment not to commit fornication is an old fashioned law, meant for the olden days. She argued that it was no longer a realistic instruction.

Even if it does not make sense to you, your duty is still to obey God. Christianity has to do with your relationship with the Lord. As a Christian you are dependent on God, and it is only the Lord who can bless you. If you choose to disobey and disregard God, I don’t know what kind of relationship you want to have with Him.

When you disobey God, you incur God’s curses upon your life. Some people complain that it is difficult to obey God. “It costs so much”, they say. Dear friend, the truth is that it pays to obey God but it costs to disobey Him. As you read the rest of this book, you will realize that when God gives us a commandment, it is for our own good. It pays to obey God but it is very expensive to disobey Him.

  1. FORNICATION WILL DESTROY YOUR SOUL

But whoso commiteth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it DESTROYETH his own SOUL. Prov. 6:32. When you commit fornication, the Bible says you will destroy your soul.

This means that fornication will have an effect on you spiritually. Anybody who is involved in fornication gets affected spiritually. You may not know exactly how it affects you. But it does affect you, and will lead you to backslide. On Sunday mornings there are people sitting in church knowing very well what they did the night before. Some Christians even come to church straight from their boyfriends’ beds.

Your pastor may not know what you have done. He may have shaken hands with you, but didn’t have any word of knowledge about you! So you continue in sin. Know that it is gradually destroying your soul — your inner self is affected! With experience I have come to see that when somebody commits fornication, his spiritual life takes a nosedive. When a Christian falls into immorality his lifestyle changes. The destruction of the soul has began.

 

  1. FORNICATION WILL DESTROY YOUR BODY

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body. 1 Cor. 6:18. When you commit fornication you commit sin directly against your own body. When you commit fornication you commit a crime against your body. You are destroying your body. If you commit a crime against the State, you are said to be destroying the State. That is why the State will arrest and prosecute you. In the same way when you commit fornication, you commit a crime against your body, and God will prosecute you for that….know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost…? 1 Cor. 6:19.

  1. YOU MAKE COVENANTS WITH ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

Sex is intended to be a binding experience between two people. Know that when you commit fornication, you make a covenant with whoever you had sex with. God’s plan is that when a woman has sex for the first time, her hymen is broken and blood is shed. Whenever blood is shed some sort of agreement or covenant is created. That means when you have sex with different people, you may actually be entering into union with them. Agreements are made because blood is shed. That is one of the reasons why Paul asked, …shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them members of an harlot? God forbid. 1Cor 6:15. Such covenants are for real. They can affect you for the rest of your life. I have seen people who have been crippled all their Christian lives because of fornication. Some Christians never rise out of the covenant of fornication. The son of a fetish priest came to our church some years ago. He told us how he got involved in witchcraft. He said he once slept in the cemetery with his father. After seven days his father cut his hand, drew his blood and mixed it with his own. Then they both drank theblood and made a permanent agreement. A covenant of witchcraft!

This brother was under that covenant. A time came when he had to decide between his father, (that is following the fetish) and following Christ. This young man could not break away from this blood covenant. (Friend, I am talking here about blood covenants!). He left the church after some months and went back to his father’s shrine. Although he was born again, and knew the Lord, he could not easily break away from his covenant. Blood and covenants are real things so don’t sleep with just anybody. You may be sleeping with a witch and that witch will be in your home all the days of your life.

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS EVIL SPIRITS INTO YOUR LIFE

… Babylon the great …is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird. Rev. 18:2. A stronghold of evil spirits is a refuge, a sanctuary or a hiding place for demons. Why did so many evil spirits come to live in Babylon? Why has Babylon become a hold of demons? See to verse 3, For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her. The kings, the Ministers of State, the rich and the famous have committed fornication with her. That is why evil spirits have come into her life. Fornication attracts evil spirits into your life. This is so true of many Christians’ lives. Evil spirits have aggregated and congregated in them because of their fornication. When God says don’t do something he knows why! Some of the evil spirits that come into you can prevent you from ever marrying. Some evil spirits can cause you to backslide. Some of them will cause you to marry the wrong person. Some of them can cause you to have a bad marriage. Some of these evil spirits can also lead you into unfaithfulness in your marriage. The list is endless. Do you want to become a hiding place for demons?

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS SICKNESS

There are a host of diseases that only come about through sexual intercourse. We call these STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). The germs that cause these diseases will have access into you when you commit fornication. Let me mention only ten of them. (Please notice how big the names of these ‘animals’ are!):

  1. Neisseria Gonococcus — this causes Gonorrhoea.
  2. Treponema pallidum — this causes Syphilis.
  3. Chlamydia trachomatis — this causes Nonspecific urethritis.
  4. Hepatitis ‘B’ virus — this causes liver diseases.
  5. Herpes simplex type II virus — this cause Herpes

genitalis.

  1. Trichomonas vaginalis — this causes vaginitis.
  2. Lymphogranuloma venereum
  3. Haemophilus Ducreyii — causes Soft Sore

(Chancroid).

  1. Urinary tract infection
  2. Cancer of the Cervix — frequent sex at an early age predisposes you to cancer of the cervix. If you wait till you marry before having sex, you may save yourself from all these diseases. But if you continue to commit fornication, then remember that all these ‘ANIMALS’’ will ENTER your body and make you sick!

 

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS DEATH

Fornication will kill you if you acquire the Human Immuno Virus (HIV). Unless God works a miracle, you may die of AIDS. HIV is now a death sentence. It is sad to say that in the Charismatic churches there are many Christians who are HIV positive. A laboratory technician once gave me some alarming statistics. A team of Lab Technicians organised a blood donationevent in a Charismatic church and out of about hundred people who donated blood, a large percentage tested positive for HIV. In other words, our churches have significant numbers of people with the HIV virus. Fornicating with your fellow church member may mean your death! Those who are HIV positive can develop AIDS. And when you have AIDS, it means you have a few more years to live.

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS UNWANTED PREGNANCIES

Do you want to attend school with your child? When I was in Secondary school, there was a man in the sixth form who was said to have a child in form one. How could this be? Probably due to an unwanted pregnancy earlier on in his life.

  1. BRINGS UNWANTED ABORTIONS

If you commit fornication and become pregnant, it is most likely that you will want to hide it — by committing abortion. You are falling into the same trap that David fell into when he committed adultery. Murder is the commonest evil that follows the sin of fornication. Abortion is the sin of murder. Many fornicators are murderers. Multiple abortionists are multiple murderers. Dear friend, you may not know that abortion is murder. Medically speaking, abortion is the termination of human life. The human life may be just a few cells, but it is human life! Are you a murderer?

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS INFERTILITY

Let me explain how fornication brings infertility. During an abortion, various instruments similar to knives and forks are introduced into the womb. This often leads to infection. And this infection often leads to the blocking of the fallopian tubes. Young lady, if your fallopian tubes are blocked you will not be able to become pregnant. Then you may find yourself in every deliverance centre — looking for healing. Receive your deliverance now by obeying the Word.

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS UNWANTED CHILDREN

Unwanted children are usually products of fornication. Why should you be pregnant when you are a 16 year old student? Your child is supposed to be your daughter or son and not your younger sister or brother!

  1. THE UNWANTED CHILDREN BECOME SOCIAL DEVIANTS

Whenever a child is not wanted, he becomes a reject in society- A “pikin na bollo” as we say in Ghana. ManyT.eviants in society have a background of having been unwanted. I remember a young boy who beat up his mother and left home. No one knows where he is. I asked why a young sixth former should behave in this unbecoming manner. The answer can be traced to his mother’s history. This young lad was a product of his mother’s fornication when she was only 15 years old. The boy had been made to stay with different aunties and other relatives. You see, his mother had to continue schooling. When his mother eventually got married, she was ashamed of her unwanted child. So he continued staying with other sympathetic relatives. Naturally, the young lad grew up doing very poorly in school. He was suspended several times and became what we call a social deviant, a very bitter boy.

  1. FORNICATION BRINGS HURTS AND WOUNDS

Read the story of Tamar and Amnon in II Samuel 13. Fornication leads to many hurts. Tamar was hurt. Absalom her brother was hurt. King David was hurt. The relation between them was broken forever.   you must realize is that fornication is essentially wrong and evil. It only leads to many terrible and devastating complications in life.

  1. FORNICATION BREAKS MARRIAGES

Fornication is often the last straw that breaks the camel’s back in unhappy marriages. Remember, it is only in the case of adultery that God allows divorce. God knows that this is the sin which has the ability to destroy marriages.

Physical Steps to Avoiding Fornication

How can we save ourselves from this disgraceful sin? We are all men of like passions subject to the same temptations like every one else. I believe the Lord has shown me some important steps that will keep us all from sin. Four of these steps are spiritual and eight are physical.

Let us start with the physical steps.

  1. NO UNTIMELY RELATIONSHIPS

Very young people should not enter into relationships. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Eccl. 3:1. There is a time for entering into a relationship. Why do you want to enter into a relationship when you are still in school? You don’t even have a job in sight! In my church, I do not recognize relationships of teenagers. I will advice you to break it in the Name of Jesus! You worry yourself for nothing when you play with relationships at the wrong time.

  1. RELATIONSHIPS ONLY UNTO MARRIAGE

You must only enter into relationships that lead to marriage. The only intimate relationship between men and women that God approves of is marriage. A Christian man and woman must move towards God’s plan, and God’s plan is marriage. When I proposed to my wife many years before I actually married her, I asked her two questions: “Can you marry a doctor? Can you marry a Pastor?” Marriage was what I had in mind. She was in love with me so she said yes! I had decided that I was going to marry her. She was not just a friend or girlfriend. She had passed on to become someone special — the person who was going to be my wife and the bearer of my children. I remember asking a young man who had been in a relationship with a sister in church for two years, “Are you getting married?” His response was “I don’t think we will. We are just in a relationship.” I think a lady must be foolish to be in such a relationship. The man is just using you, and will throw you away one day. The relationships that God approves of are relationships that are headed towards His will; and His will is marriage! If you know that your relationship is not going towards marriage, then it is just going towards fornication. Stop right there!

  1. HOLY RELATIONSHIPS

The Bible says there is a time to “refrain from embracing.” …a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing… Eccl. 3:15. If you are in a relationship, there is a time to refrain from embracing. I can hold my wife, I can hug her and I will not be doing anything wrong. But those of you who are not married are not expected to do so. Even when you touch your fiancee’s hand, ‘osmosis’ begins to occur! In my church we have a few rules for counselling young people in relationships. We don’t just tell you to live a holy and a pure life, but only have holy relationships!

  1. EARLY MARRIAGE

I encourage people to marry young. The more Christians delay the marriage ceremony, the more likely they are to end up living in sin. What are you waiting for? In certain churches there are road blocks to marriage. Couples are presented with so many obstacles to delay marriage. But that should not be the case. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy YOUTH. Prov. 5:18. The scripture encourages you to have a wife when you are young — The wife of your youth. Don’t use the lack of money as an excuse, because you can marry if you really want to. Marry whilst you are still young. Don’t wait until you have all the comfortable things of life before venturing into marriage. When I decided to get married, somebody whispered to my wife to marry someone who had everything in life. I certainly didn’t qualify because I had nothing! I have been through some really hard times with my wife, where we didn’t have any money. We had to warn our visitors to sit in a particular way because our chairs were weak and broken. She even had to go abroad to work to buy us some furniture. I have truly struggled with my wife, so I love her. I didn’t have to wait until I was an old man to get married. I love the people with whom I have been through struggles and difficulties. They are different from those who have come in at a time of total blessing. When you are already established in life, you will have people interested in you because you are already blessed. But the wife of your youth will marry you not because of what you have, but because of who you are. It is a blessing to marry young.

  1. NON-POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGE

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Gen. 2:25. The only person you must be naked with is your wife. Not your girlfriend, fiancee, nurse or secretary. You are not supposed to have any other wife. God does not endorse polygamy. A polygamous lifestyle encourages fornication. In Ghana, we have ‘official’ polygamy, where a man maintains two or three wives. But there is an ‘unofficial’ version of polygamy which is practised by most successful people in Ghana. They have an official wife whom they take to official functions and appear on television with. There are also the unofficial women in the life of these men. And this is a common practice by most of the ‘big shots’ in our society. Such men have no intention of divorcing their wives. They will spend the weekends at special places with these ‘side’ girls. They travel with them to Paris, and generally have a good time with them. But they still maintain the official marriage. We must keep this culture of unofficial polygamy far from us, if we want to avoid fornication.

  1. SEXUALLY ACTIVE MARRIAGES

We need to have sexually active marriages. There are many marriages which are not sexually active. It is amazing that before people get married they want to hold and touch each other but when they get married they can lie by each other like logs. Why commit fornication when you can commit love. Drink water out of thine own cistern; and running waters out of thine own well. Prov. 5:15. Sex can be likened to drinking water. And we drink water several times in a day. So the Bible admonishes you to have sex several times, so you won’t thirst for any other woman. There is more symbolic language in Proverbs 5. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad… Verse 16. What in sex looks like a fountain? God’s rule for healthy marriages is that the fountains should be allowed to disperse abroad. You must allow the fountains to flow. Some fountains have been closed two weeks or six months. Such fountains are not blessed! …and rivers of waters in the streets. Verse 15. What could these streets be? If the fountains are going to flow into the streets, then God says …let them be only thine OWN and not strangers’. Verse 17. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times… Verse 19. If you are married your wife’s breasts must satisfy you at all times! Why should you be playing with somebody else’s breast when you have your own wife’s. One of the ways to prevent fornication if your are married is to have sex regularly. When you eat and are satisfied, you don’t feel like eating any more. Women especially should know that when they have sex regularly with their husbands, they prevent them from having extra marital affairs. A man of God fell into sin. I was sitting with him after he had impregnated one of his church members — he was crying. I was so sad, I wanted to know how it happened. He described the difficulties of sex he had with his wife. She did not want to have sex with him. She kept complaining that she was tired, or cold. As soon as the husband committed adultery, she became active. She realized her husband’s adultery was a product of what was going on at home. Some wives are just waiting for their husbands to commit adultery and then they will wake up!

Spiritual Steps to Avoiding Fornication

  1. HONESTY

You need honesty to save yourself from fornication. If you have a problem and need help, you have to be open about it. The doctor cannot help you unless you open up and tell him your problem.

No one can help you if you do not ask for help. Everybody needs help. But not everybody wants help. You need to open up and share your problems with honesty. Without the belt of truth and sincerity you can never receive help from God. There is a story about a Christian brother who always thought the messages preached in church were directed at others. The Pastor would minister under the power of the Holy Ghost, and this Christian brother would sit in the church assuming it was for somebody else. After the service, he would thank the pastor and say “Pastor, bless you for this message. I believe you really ministered to THEM. You really touched THEIR hearts. It’s a message THEY really needed.” The Pastor tried to modify his sermon so that the man would realize that he was actually talking to him. But it was to no avail. Then one day, it rained and there was a flood. No one but this brother came to church. As he sat there alone, the Pastor said to himself, at last this young man will know that the message is for him. The pastor preached his heart out. After that the brother came up and said, “Pastor, that was a very powerful message. If only THEY had come to church today, in fact, THEIR lives would have been touched!”

And that’s how it is. We preach the Word, and people always assume it’s for somebody else. We are simply not honest enough to accept that we have a problem.

  1. PRAYER

We need prayer to be able to deal with sin. And he said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. Luke 22:46. Prayer is very important to prevent you from falling into temptation. Prayer strengthens you for whatever is coming your way. Next time you fast, get up early and pray before the day. You will find supernatural strength to go on. This strength comes from prayer. When you pray you build up your spirit and become spiritually strong. The Bible says the body without the spirit is dead. That means the day your spirit goes out of your body, you will die. It also means that whatever is happening in your body is affected by your spirit. It helps you to fight off certain temptations. That is why Jesus said pray, in case you fall into temptation. That is why Jesus prayed all the time. Once Jesus prayed for forty days and nights. Soon after praying and fasting, the devil came to tempt him, but he was too strong for the devil.

The devil had chosen the wrong time to attack Christ. Many years ago, the devil tried to bring a temptation my way. But that day, the Lord led me to pray for hours. honesty. Without the belt of truth and sincerity you can never receive help from God. There is a story about a Christian brother who always thought the messages preached in church were directed at others . The Pastor would minister under the power of the Holy Ghost, and this Christian brother would sit in the church assuming it was for somebody else. After the service, he would thank the pastor and say “Pastor, bless you for this message. I believe you really ministered to THEM. You really touched THEIR hearts. It’s a message THEY really needed.” The Pastor tried to modify his sermon so that the man would realize that he was actually talking to him. But it was to no avail. Then one day, it rained and there was a flood. No one but this brother came to church. As he sat there alone, the Pastor said to himself, at last this young man will know that the message is for him. The pastor preached his heart out. After that the brother came up and said, “Pastor, that was a very powerful message. If only THEY had come to church today, in fact, THEIR lives would have been touched!” And that’s how it is. We preach the Word, and people always assume it’s for somebody else. We are simply not honest enough to accept that we have a problem.

We need prayer to be able to deal with sin. And he said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. Luke 22:46. Prayer is very important to prevent you from falling into temptation. Prayer strengthens you for whatever is coming your way. Next time you fast, get up early and pray before the day. You will find supernatural strength to go on. This strength comes from prayer. When you pray you build up your spirit and become spiritually strong. The Bible says the body without the spirit is dead. That means the day your spirit goes out of your body, you will die. It also means that whatever is happening in your body is affected by your spirit. It helps you to fight off certain temptations. That is why Jesus said pray, in case you fall into temptation. That is why Jesus prayed all the time. Once Jesus prayed for forty days and nights. Soon after praying and fasting, the devil came to tempt him, but he was too strong for the devil. The devil had chosen the wrong time to attack Christ. Many years ago, the devil tried to bring a temptation my way. But that day, the Lord led me to pray for hours. It is by grace and grace alone! The song writer said, “Through many dangers, toils and snares, l have already come. It was grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.” Friends, it is grace that will see us through!

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